Crap Lyrics

Represented by:
Susan Smith

Category:
Non-fiction

Publisher:
Portico

Publication date:
May 2009

Foreign rights controlled by:
MBA

“Why do I find it hard to write the next line?” Spandau Ballet once asked. Even the greatest songwriters (and Spandau Ballet) have had the odd bad day at the office. Or more likely, a bad few minutes in the studio toilets scribbling the first words they can think of on the back of their tranquiliser prescription shortly before the vocal has to be recorded. Johnny Sharp has trawled half a century of lyrics to find the funniest examples of crippled couplets, outrageous innuendo, mixed metaphors, shameless self-delusion, nefarious nonsense and flagrant filth. Not to mention unforgivable over-use of alliteration.

Crap Lyrics is a humorous celebration (and occasionally, condemnation) of over 120 of the most ridiculous hooks, lines and stinkers from pop poetry through the modern ages. Johnny is serious as cancer when he asks: Are we human, or are we dancer? And where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake, I fear? While moving like a tortoise, full of rigor mortis? Whether you’re a diplomat, or even down the Laundromat, if you have ever heard a song and thought “You what?” then this is the book for you.

Other publications by Johnny Sharp

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